It was a Saturday night. Late. I was at Virginia Beach taking a walk and praying (that is my spot.) My heart was heavy and my future was unclear. The following morning I was going to be addressing the congregation where I served as youth minister, informing them that I was going to be leaving the church to finish my Master’s degree and pursue a career in counseling. The months leading up to that decision and transition were some of the most stressful I had endured up to that point in my life. My hope was that by spending time at the beach, praying, walking, and thinking that I would find some peace. It started getting late. I really had no concern for how late I stayed out, but when one o’clock in the morning approached, my phone buzzed. Yes, I probably should have left it in the car, but I didn’t and it buzzed. A student in my ministry that I probably hadn’t seen for over a year texted me, informed me that she didn’t know what to do, who to talk to, but that she wanted to end her life. For the next hour or so I put my burdens on hold and talked her through her crisis. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t bitter. I began thinking things along the lines of “You haven’t been around for a year, and of all the times to reach out you pick when I am in the middle of my own crisis! If you had any idea what was going on in my life you would not be bothering me right now.” Anyone who has served in ministry can likely share a similar story.
Most men and women who get into ministry, be it vocationally or voluntarily, do so because they have a heart for people. They love people, want to help and guide people, and they believe that pointing them to Jesus through whatever means they are able is the best way to make a positive difference in their life. Sure, you have the occasional ego-maniac or manipulator with a hidden agenda, but most of them are people who love God, love people, and want to serve. However, doing ministry, even if a paycheck is attached, is burdensome at times. It involves putting other people first, putting their needs ahead of one’s own. There is no 9-5 in paid ministry, and their is often and additional 9-5 in volunteer ministry. As a result, the time ministry leaders spend is often abundant and spontaneous. Most paid ministers don’t get paid half of what they are worth, and volunteer ministers don’t get paid any of what they are worth. However, paid or volunteer, they generally serve with little complaint. They got in to ministry because they have a heart for people, not a heart for money. However they have lives too…
--They have marriages and kids.
--They have problems and their kids have problems.
--They struggle with temptation and sin.
--They struggle with finances and debt.
--They struggle with sickness and injury.
--They experience seasons of depression and anxiety.
--They have a past of their own and grew up with their own issues and insecurities.
--They don’t have life completely figured out.
--They need to be cared for too.
Seriously… they need to be cared for too.
When you look at that list you can probably assume that any given item, combination of items, or items that I neglected to put on the list are going on in your ministry leader’s life. All the while they are receiving phone calls, answering emails, replying to text message, having meetings, and entertaining office visits from people that are in need. This is on top of the day to day business of the church office; research and preparing for sermons or lessons, organizing volunteers for this or that; planning the upcoming events for the ministry. In the course of serving their ministry, or tending to their flock, it can be easy for a ministry leader to be convinced that no one cares about them unless they need something. If they believe this, it will destroy them.
So how do we challenge this belief?
1) Build genuine relationships with them. Did you know that it is ok to have a cup of coffee with your ministry leader just so you can hang out? You don’t even have to talk about one problem or concern. You can talk about sports, hobbies, or even Justin Bieber if that’s your thing. Invite them and their family over or out for dinner. Let your home be a place where they can take their shoes off, kick back, watch the big game and leave their role as ministry leader at the door. Ministry leaders need genuine friendship just as much as anyone else, and there really is no good reason why they can’t find it in their church. Now I know that not everyone is going to be best friend’s with the ministry leader, and that’s ok. But it might be worth giving a shot, right?
2) Offer to help them. This overflows from building genuine relationships as most people in good relationships tend to look out for each other. Often when we think of helping ministry leaders, we think of doing so in the context of their ministry. Let’s help the preacher organize the summer outreach program. Let’s help our ministry leader with some of the behind the scenes work, or organization that needs to be done. This is good. Please do this. But also, be a help in their personal life. If their kids are sick, offer to help take care of them. If they are married, offer to watch their kids so they can go out on a date. If you have a youth minister who is gone with students for weeks over the summer (which is common) see if you can help his wife with some of the yard work. The ideas and needs are endless. Be a practical help to them, and do it with no strings attached.
3) Show your gratitude for them. Even if you end up not being able to develop a deeper relationship with them (like I said, not everyone is going to be best friends) make sure to thank them. Thank them in and out of season. Thank them immediately after they have done something that warrants thanks, but also thank them when they least expect it. Send them a card to brighten their day, tell them you appreciate the work they do. You can do this even if their ministry does not directly impact you. If a ministry leader feels appreciated, they are much less likely to given in to the belief that no one cares about them.
Am I telling us to stop going to our ministry leaders when we need help? No. That is why they serve. They really do love to help. What I am saying is that we should make the relationship broader than that; that every moment we spend with them doesn’t need to revolve around our own drama and need. Let us build genuine, helpful relationships that are seasoned with thanksgiving. It can literally change the way your ministry leader sees his ministry and his life.
Let me add here that there is certainly a responsibility on the part of every ministry leader to take care of their own lives, develop healthy relationships, friendships, and nurture their own well being. However, we are constantly reminded throughout the New Testament that we should all look out for the well being of each other. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “…encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” with the assumption that we are already doing it. It is common sense. This includes us looking out for the well being of our ministry leaders just as much as it means them looking out for ours. Let us not act in a way that discourages our ministry leaders.
If your minister, pastor, or ministry leader believes that no one cares about them unless they need something, it will destroy them.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Beliefs That Will Destroy Your Minister, Pastor, or Ministry Leader: I Have To Be Perfect.
I will never forget the conversation I had with a young man who was once a student in my youth ministry. At this time he was 19 years old, dating a wonderful gal who he would later marry, and trying to figure out where his future was going. We were in my living room, talking about all kinds of things, having a meal, but before I knew it, things would be awkward…
I believe the statement that started us down the awkward path was something like “Man, I can’t control myself. Me and my girlfriend sleep together all the time and we can’t seem to stop, and whenever we try I get sucked into looking at porn.” As we talked, he poured out about how all of it was wrecking their relationship. Feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness, etc. began to characterize the way they felt about one another. We discussed what the scriptures said about it, speculated on the reasoning behind the scriptures, and discussed the practical application for both of our lives. It was a very real, very practical conversation. But here’s where the awkwardness came in…
At the very beginning of the conversation everything in me wanted to reach out to him and tell him “Yes, I understand. I have battled these exact things in my life as well.” But walking right alongside that thought was “You are the youth minister at his church. If for some reason he shares this, or the wrong person finds out, you could get in trouble, and possibly lose your job.” Whether or not that was true, it was the first thing to pop into my head at the thought of sharing my burden with him. Fortunately, I did share with him. Had I not, the good, healing conversation and prayer time with him never would have happened. And thankfully to this day, we still have a close friendship. We are still able to share honestly with one another and pray with each other no matter what is going on.
But man… It is easy for people in ministry to believe that they have to be perfect.
After all, they are the ones who preach and teach the passages that list out all kinds of sins that are to be avoided. They are the ones who speak to us as an authority on how we connect to God and how we should and shouldn’t live. So when a part of their life is not in line with the scripture, they feel the need to hide it. After all, they probably just got done telling you not to do the very thing they struggle with wanting to do everyday. They want to practice what they preach, and if they are in paid ministry, they particulalry worry that having their sin struggle known by anyone could result in losing their job (and all the struggles that come with losing a job.) The very one’s who preach forgiveness, grace, and restoration to the rest of us are scared to seek the same for their own lives.
So what happens when their sin struggles go unconfessed and aren’t death with? They become secret. And when they become secret, they tend to get worse and worse until they eventually spin out of control and wreck the person. In his commentary on temptation, James reminds us that sin leads to death (James 1:15.) When a ministry leader holds on and keeps sin secret… they die. Just like the rest of us.
So how do we challenge this belief?
1) Understand that all people are sinners, including them. In Romans 3:23 Paul reminds us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. While ministry leaders are held to high standards (James 3:1), they are still susceptible to temptation and sin. They are part of that “all” that Paul writes about. To expect your ministry leader to be sinless is to set them up for failure in your eyes.
2) Be slow to make judgments when sin is confessed or exposed. When someone else screws up, our natural tendency is to focus on it because then we don’t have to focus on our own life, our own problems, and our own sin. Jesus warned against this way of thinking (Matthew 7:3-5) encouraging us to keep our focus on ourselves. The key here is not to make a judgement of your ministry leaders worth to God because of confessed sinned. Nothing can separate them from the love of God (Romans 8:37-39) so why it should it separate them from ours? However, when we rush to judgment we just reinforce the belief that we expect our ministry leaders to be perfect.
3) Provide a safe place for them to be open about sin and struggle. Now, this is not likely to be some public place. I’m not advocating that a ministry leader go before a congregation upon every moment of sin and struggle, but there should be a safe place. Church elders, other ministers, or Christian counselors should be able to provide a safe haven for the ministry leader who struggles. James suggests to us that sharing sin struggles and praying together brings healing (James 5:16.) This is often the role we allow our ministry leaders to play for us, but shouldn’t they have it as well? To deny them a place to heal is to set them up to fail.
In all these things, please don’t misunderstand me. We don’t want to promote or allow someone to stay stuck in sin without any sort of accountability. In fact the book of Hebrews warns us that one who willingly pursues sin with his life is in a very dangerous place (Hebrews 10:26-27.) In such cases, discipline and accountability is important. But for the person who is struggling, battling, and desiring to put his sin to death, there should be grace.
If your minister, pastor, or ministry leader believes they have to be perfect, it will destroy them.
I believe the statement that started us down the awkward path was something like “Man, I can’t control myself. Me and my girlfriend sleep together all the time and we can’t seem to stop, and whenever we try I get sucked into looking at porn.” As we talked, he poured out about how all of it was wrecking their relationship. Feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness, etc. began to characterize the way they felt about one another. We discussed what the scriptures said about it, speculated on the reasoning behind the scriptures, and discussed the practical application for both of our lives. It was a very real, very practical conversation. But here’s where the awkwardness came in…
At the very beginning of the conversation everything in me wanted to reach out to him and tell him “Yes, I understand. I have battled these exact things in my life as well.” But walking right alongside that thought was “You are the youth minister at his church. If for some reason he shares this, or the wrong person finds out, you could get in trouble, and possibly lose your job.” Whether or not that was true, it was the first thing to pop into my head at the thought of sharing my burden with him. Fortunately, I did share with him. Had I not, the good, healing conversation and prayer time with him never would have happened. And thankfully to this day, we still have a close friendship. We are still able to share honestly with one another and pray with each other no matter what is going on.
But man… It is easy for people in ministry to believe that they have to be perfect.
After all, they are the ones who preach and teach the passages that list out all kinds of sins that are to be avoided. They are the ones who speak to us as an authority on how we connect to God and how we should and shouldn’t live. So when a part of their life is not in line with the scripture, they feel the need to hide it. After all, they probably just got done telling you not to do the very thing they struggle with wanting to do everyday. They want to practice what they preach, and if they are in paid ministry, they particulalry worry that having their sin struggle known by anyone could result in losing their job (and all the struggles that come with losing a job.) The very one’s who preach forgiveness, grace, and restoration to the rest of us are scared to seek the same for their own lives.
So what happens when their sin struggles go unconfessed and aren’t death with? They become secret. And when they become secret, they tend to get worse and worse until they eventually spin out of control and wreck the person. In his commentary on temptation, James reminds us that sin leads to death (James 1:15.) When a ministry leader holds on and keeps sin secret… they die. Just like the rest of us.
So how do we challenge this belief?
1) Understand that all people are sinners, including them. In Romans 3:23 Paul reminds us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. While ministry leaders are held to high standards (James 3:1), they are still susceptible to temptation and sin. They are part of that “all” that Paul writes about. To expect your ministry leader to be sinless is to set them up for failure in your eyes.
2) Be slow to make judgments when sin is confessed or exposed. When someone else screws up, our natural tendency is to focus on it because then we don’t have to focus on our own life, our own problems, and our own sin. Jesus warned against this way of thinking (Matthew 7:3-5) encouraging us to keep our focus on ourselves. The key here is not to make a judgement of your ministry leaders worth to God because of confessed sinned. Nothing can separate them from the love of God (Romans 8:37-39) so why it should it separate them from ours? However, when we rush to judgment we just reinforce the belief that we expect our ministry leaders to be perfect.
3) Provide a safe place for them to be open about sin and struggle. Now, this is not likely to be some public place. I’m not advocating that a ministry leader go before a congregation upon every moment of sin and struggle, but there should be a safe place. Church elders, other ministers, or Christian counselors should be able to provide a safe haven for the ministry leader who struggles. James suggests to us that sharing sin struggles and praying together brings healing (James 5:16.) This is often the role we allow our ministry leaders to play for us, but shouldn’t they have it as well? To deny them a place to heal is to set them up to fail.
In all these things, please don’t misunderstand me. We don’t want to promote or allow someone to stay stuck in sin without any sort of accountability. In fact the book of Hebrews warns us that one who willingly pursues sin with his life is in a very dangerous place (Hebrews 10:26-27.) In such cases, discipline and accountability is important. But for the person who is struggling, battling, and desiring to put his sin to death, there should be grace.
If your minister, pastor, or ministry leader believes they have to be perfect, it will destroy them.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Beliefs That Will Destroy Your Minister, Pastor, or Ministry Leader: Introduction.
Often when a ministry leader we look up to crumbles we are taken by surprise. Things like…
“You’d think the minister, of all people, would have himself together.”
“Who’d’ve thought her marriage was about to fall apart?”
“I never expected him to get involved in something like that.”
…start to cross our minds. But how much do we really know about their lives? Depending on our involvement in church (i.e. how active we are and how often we participate in various church services and activities) we probably see this individual no more than 4 hours any given week. If we are being more realistic, we probably only see them one or two hours a week, and when we do see them it is while they are “on duty,” for lack of a better phrase. Is this the full picture of the man or woman whom you have seen fall? Not at all.
What I know is this; more often than not these burn outs don’t happen overnight. There is a long path that leads to the moment where everything finally hits the fan and then proceeds to fall apart. My aim is to examine five beliefs an individual in ministry may hold onto that can lead them towards the path of destruction. While I certainly believe that a man or woman in ministry has a high responsibility to take care of their selves (a topic I have taught on and could write about extensively) my hope here is that church leaders and congregation members alike would take a step back and see how they may be contributing to these beliefs, and learn how they can encourage their beloved ministry leaders away from them.
So here are five beliefs that will destroy your minister, pastor, or ministry leader.
1) I have to be perfect.
2) No one cares about me unless they need something.
3) I’m the only one in the church who cares about _____.
4) I’m the only one capable of doing ____.
5) I can’t rest because there is too much to do.
“You’d think the minister, of all people, would have himself together.”
“Who’d’ve thought her marriage was about to fall apart?”
“I never expected him to get involved in something like that.”
…start to cross our minds. But how much do we really know about their lives? Depending on our involvement in church (i.e. how active we are and how often we participate in various church services and activities) we probably see this individual no more than 4 hours any given week. If we are being more realistic, we probably only see them one or two hours a week, and when we do see them it is while they are “on duty,” for lack of a better phrase. Is this the full picture of the man or woman whom you have seen fall? Not at all.
What I know is this; more often than not these burn outs don’t happen overnight. There is a long path that leads to the moment where everything finally hits the fan and then proceeds to fall apart. My aim is to examine five beliefs an individual in ministry may hold onto that can lead them towards the path of destruction. While I certainly believe that a man or woman in ministry has a high responsibility to take care of their selves (a topic I have taught on and could write about extensively) my hope here is that church leaders and congregation members alike would take a step back and see how they may be contributing to these beliefs, and learn how they can encourage their beloved ministry leaders away from them.
So here are five beliefs that will destroy your minister, pastor, or ministry leader.
1) I have to be perfect.
2) No one cares about me unless they need something.
3) I’m the only one in the church who cares about _____.
4) I’m the only one capable of doing ____.
5) I can’t rest because there is too much to do.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
New Music & What Not
I have always talked about writing music. In my younger days I was in a handful of mediocre bands. But over the last year or so, I have done a bit of writing when life has afforded me some free time. When I do, I record a demo on vimeo just so I don't lose or forget the idea.
Every once and a while people ask me if I am writing and playing anymore, so here are five songs that I have written over the last year or so. Check em out. But I make no promises that they are good.
Lesson Learned
Oh My God
From Within
Hold My Hand
There Is Victory (Oh My Soul)
Every once and a while people ask me if I am writing and playing anymore, so here are five songs that I have written over the last year or so. Check em out. But I make no promises that they are good.
Lesson Learned
Oh My God
From Within
Hold My Hand
There Is Victory (Oh My Soul)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
How Can I Help?
A close friend tells you…
...that there has been tragic death in her family.
…that he and his wife are splitting up.
…that her daughter is really sick and that the doctors aren’t even sure what is going on.
…that he just lost job and doesn’t know what to do now.
…that (insert life-wrecking problem here.)
“If there is anything I can do for you, and I mean anything, please let me know!”
That is a pretty typical response we give to someone when we hear about a tragedy or rough circumstance in their life. You’ve given it. I’ve given it. And honestly, we mean well. We typically are genuinely willing to do anything. We just don’t know what to do. The problems is, when our friends and family members are caught in crisis, their heads are rarely clear enough to tell us what they need. They may not even be sure either. They just want things to be normal again. They want to feel ok again.
So here are some practical guidelines for helping people going through crisis.
1) Treat Them Normal: This is HUGE. They are already quite aware that something big is wrong in their life right now. Their normal life has been shaken. One of the biggest graces you can give them is to let them have some time to feel normal. Go grab that coffee with them like you usually would. When you spend time with them, don’t make it about their crisis. There is no need for your time spent with them to be focused on it. Proceed with life as usual. If they want to talk or vent about the crisis in their life, you can bet your money that they will bring it up when they are good and ready. Until then, keep life to business as usual.
2) Shut Up: Yes, shut up! When they do get to that point where they want to talk or vent it out, that is exactly what needs to happen.
They need to talk.
They need to vent.
You need to listen (this includes me. I’m a terrible at not talking.)
Most of the time when someone starts to share these things with you it is in the very act of talking itself that they find peace and relief. They are probably not looking for, and don’t really need, your thoughts, explanations, and opinions. If we approach the situation and decide we know everything, and then we share it with them, we are going to frustrate them. They just need a place to speak honestly and be safe; without having to worry about what someone else might think. If they want you to share an opinion, give advice, etc. they will ask!
3) Meet Practical Needs: Can you make them a meal? Watch out for their kids? Help with yard work? Give them a ride? When someone is in a crisis, not only is their normal everyday perception of life skewed, but everyday normal activities can fall to the wayside. If you are able, meet some practical needs. If you are not sure what needs to be done, ask, but ask specifically. Don’t ask “hey, can I help with stuff?” rather ask “Hey, can I come by and cut your grass this weekend?” Be specific. If you don’t know them well enough, ask friends and family. But by all means, standing in the gap and meeting practical needs is huge. Removing some of the smaller worries and providing relief from the regular stresses of life can provide someone with more strength to work through their crisis.
4) Help Them Find Help: If it gets to the point where you want to help, but it is obvious that the help they need falls outside of your abilities, help them find the appropriate help. Whether this is medical help, counseling help, or really anything, it is a great service to point them in the right direction. Maybe you know that they need to get the car repaired, but that isn’t something you can do. Help them find someone who can. Maybe once they do choose to talk to you, they begin to ask for advice and you have no idea what to say. Point them to someone who does. One of the worst things you can do is try to help someone in a way that you are unqualified. More often than not, you end up causing more damage. If you see a need, but you can’t help, guide them towards someone who can!
...that there has been tragic death in her family.
…that he and his wife are splitting up.
…that her daughter is really sick and that the doctors aren’t even sure what is going on.
…that he just lost job and doesn’t know what to do now.
…that (insert life-wrecking problem here.)
“If there is anything I can do for you, and I mean anything, please let me know!”
That is a pretty typical response we give to someone when we hear about a tragedy or rough circumstance in their life. You’ve given it. I’ve given it. And honestly, we mean well. We typically are genuinely willing to do anything. We just don’t know what to do. The problems is, when our friends and family members are caught in crisis, their heads are rarely clear enough to tell us what they need. They may not even be sure either. They just want things to be normal again. They want to feel ok again.
So here are some practical guidelines for helping people going through crisis.
1) Treat Them Normal: This is HUGE. They are already quite aware that something big is wrong in their life right now. Their normal life has been shaken. One of the biggest graces you can give them is to let them have some time to feel normal. Go grab that coffee with them like you usually would. When you spend time with them, don’t make it about their crisis. There is no need for your time spent with them to be focused on it. Proceed with life as usual. If they want to talk or vent about the crisis in their life, you can bet your money that they will bring it up when they are good and ready. Until then, keep life to business as usual.
2) Shut Up: Yes, shut up! When they do get to that point where they want to talk or vent it out, that is exactly what needs to happen.
They need to talk.
They need to vent.
You need to listen (this includes me. I’m a terrible at not talking.)
Most of the time when someone starts to share these things with you it is in the very act of talking itself that they find peace and relief. They are probably not looking for, and don’t really need, your thoughts, explanations, and opinions. If we approach the situation and decide we know everything, and then we share it with them, we are going to frustrate them. They just need a place to speak honestly and be safe; without having to worry about what someone else might think. If they want you to share an opinion, give advice, etc. they will ask!
3) Meet Practical Needs: Can you make them a meal? Watch out for their kids? Help with yard work? Give them a ride? When someone is in a crisis, not only is their normal everyday perception of life skewed, but everyday normal activities can fall to the wayside. If you are able, meet some practical needs. If you are not sure what needs to be done, ask, but ask specifically. Don’t ask “hey, can I help with stuff?” rather ask “Hey, can I come by and cut your grass this weekend?” Be specific. If you don’t know them well enough, ask friends and family. But by all means, standing in the gap and meeting practical needs is huge. Removing some of the smaller worries and providing relief from the regular stresses of life can provide someone with more strength to work through their crisis.
4) Help Them Find Help: If it gets to the point where you want to help, but it is obvious that the help they need falls outside of your abilities, help them find the appropriate help. Whether this is medical help, counseling help, or really anything, it is a great service to point them in the right direction. Maybe you know that they need to get the car repaired, but that isn’t something you can do. Help them find someone who can. Maybe once they do choose to talk to you, they begin to ask for advice and you have no idea what to say. Point them to someone who does. One of the worst things you can do is try to help someone in a way that you are unqualified. More often than not, you end up causing more damage. If you see a need, but you can’t help, guide them towards someone who can!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A Call To Fake It... (Fake It 'Till You Make It Pt. 5/Fin)
The development of these disciplines allows us to run to God and seek him even when we don’t feel like it
So when you are strong, nurture your roots. Build them up. Strengthen them. Spend time learning God’s truth through the scriptures, through fellowship, through prayer, and through all the ways he desires to talk to you. When the times of weakness come (and yes my friend, they will come) your roots are what will hold you in place. Without them, you will blow away into that cycle of trying the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing... desiring fulfillment, and finding none. Before you know it, you won’t even be able to go through the motions anymore. You will be destroyed.
The Psalmist captures that darkest of darks....
“I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,
at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?
Why do you make yourself scarce?
For as long as I remember I've been hurting;
I've taken the worst you can hand out, and I've had it.
Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;
I'm bleeding, black-and-blue.
You've attacked me fiercely from every side,
raining down blows till I'm nearly dead.
You made lover and neighbor alike dump me;
the only friend I have left is Darkness.”
-Psalm 88:13-18 (The Message)
And a contemporary folk band tells us how to be prepared…
“So hold on to what you believe in the light…
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight…”
-Mumford and Sons
If you build roots, you can weather the storm.
You can fake it ‘till you make it.
You can live faithfully until your heart catches up.
That is my prayer for you all; that you would know God, and be able to trust him even when your heart is not there.
Hold on to your strength and your shield (Psalm 28:7.)
God Bless You.
Rooting... (Fake It 'Till You Make It Pt. 4)
If we are rooted in God’s word, we will not be quick to abandon him… even if our hearts feel far from him.
So the question becomes how do we grow those roots? How do we prepare ourselves for that inevitable season when we are going feel abandoned by our God?
It comes down to what is known in theological circles as spiritual disciplines. But in plain terms a spiritual discipline is simply a regular practice or habit in your life that draws you nearer to God and opens you up to what He has to say to you. This is root building.
Whenever the topic of Spiritual disciplines comes up I am always quick to recommend two books…
The Celebration of Discipline by R.C. Foster. (amazon)
The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg. (amazon)
The former is more of a classic work on the subject, while the latter is a more contemporary work. Both of them have the same goal… Helping the reader understand and apply behavior that will draw them nearer to God.
But now if you will allow me to continue, I must tell you that I am a lucky guy.
You see... I have been blessed to have a great family and many good friends in my life; a handful of trusted people who I can run to in a moment of crisis. Odds are you have a person or two like this; maybe a spouse, a family member, or a good friend. Odds are, also, that these relationships were not built only during a time of crisis or in preparation for one. They are built on other things. The relationship I have with one of my best friends began with us playing guitar together… in our garages. That’s it. Now we enjoy true friendship and can rely on each other through the darkest of darks.
The reason I mention friendship is this... If you find yourself in a crisis, you are not likely to go to someone that you have no history with. Rather, you are going to run to the person you trust, and who will look out for you; the person you started getting to know by playing guitars in the garage. You have roots.
The same is true with God. We have to get to know him before we feel like we need him (don’t get me wrong, we have always needed him, but we don’t always feel like it.) I urge you to get to know him; to grow those roots in him. Experience that spiritual discipline. Here are a couple just to give you some food for thought.
Prayer – Often frustrating because we only use it when we are hurting or are in need. Then we give it a shot, and it frustrates us. It’s easier to pray during a crisis if you are used to praying.
Study – The Bible is overwhelming at a first glance (ok, at a one thousandth glance as well.) There are times where we want to know about a particular topic or idea and what the bible says about something, but we can get lost fast and give up easily. However, if we have a regular habit of studying the scriptures, when those times of urgency come, we will know how to do it
Fellowship – This is sharing life with others; letting people into your life and your walk with God. Again, if we only strive to do this when we are in deep need, it is hard and frustrating, but if we are in the habit of spending time with other people during the calm, then when the storm comes we are not without a place to turn.
The list goes on… things like solitude, confession, worship, fasting, etc. The point of this entry is not to be an extensive list or lesson on spiritual discipline, but rather just a starting point. It wouldn’t hurt to read the above mentioned books if you want to go farther into this.
My only point is this. The development of these disciplines allows us to run to God and seek him even when we don’t feel like it. It is what allows us to fake it ‘till we make it.
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