Roots Are Powerful (Fake It 'Till You Make It Pt. 3)

There are things that we cannot hastily let go of because we are deeply rooted in them.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned about the Bible is the importance of learning the lessons from the Bible before you need the lessons from the Bible (yes I know… that sentence is a mess. It would be way better if you could hear me articulate it!)

What I mean by this is that the Bible is full of teachings and concepts that are practical to life. However many of them are hard to apply and understand, particularly in the very moments we need them. Thus it is necessary to learn them ahead of time. Let’s take an example…

James 1:2-4 is the cliché verse to quote to someone who is going through a rough patch. The account of Job is told time after time to those who are in the midst of devastation. This is meant to encourage, but really… it doesn’t very much. Not in the midst of trouble, anyways. Not unless the individual is already rooted in these truths. Without a prior belief and understanding of these scriptures, people are more than likely going to take this teaching as an insult and find it nothing more than frustrating. They are then likely to dismiss it altogether.

Approach the couple who just miscarried a child with Jeremiah 29:11…

Approach the family who’s oldest son is constantly getting in trouble with the law with Proverbs 22:6…

Approach the woman who just found out her husband has been having an affair with Romans 8:28…

Approach the man who lost his job and has no idea how to break it to his wife with Philippians 4:19…

Approach the college student who just had her heart broken by the man she thought she would marry with Psalm 37:4…

How they receive these scriptures will depend on their roots. If they are already rooted in them, there is room for comfort and encouragement. They will be able to trust God despite the circumstances they find their selves in. If there are no roots, however, they will find insult and discouragement. They will lose trust in God due to their circumstances.

You and I will react the same way.

That is why it is important to grow deep roots during the good times. The soil is more fertile. When trials come (and yes, they will come) and hard times find their way to our door, it is those roots that will keep us grounded.

And this is what it means to go through the motions; to rely on our roots even when our hearts are far from them.

If we are rooted in God’s word, we will not be quick to abandon him… even if our hearts feel far from him.

Roots are powerful.

The Matter At Hand (Fake It 'Till You Make It Pt. 2)

“Do you frustrate yourself with the motions? I feel like a poser when I do that. Relying on muscle memory to ‘do what’s right’ doesn’t feel right.’”

Of course it’s frustrating!

Extremely frustrating!

To have something that once brought you joy become stagnant; that is frustrating!

To have something that once brought you purpose seem meaningless; that is frustrating!

To have something that was once fulfilling turn into a burden; that is frustrating!

So what do we do? We can stop and move on (or away) to something else, or we can go through the motions. Going through the motions gets a bad rap in our culture because we have had it instilled in us that we are supposed to “keep it real,” that we are to live in (and for) the moment; to live for instant gratification. Thus it comes very naturally to us to abandon what we have once accepted and jump toward something new, or different in the hopes of being instantly fulfilled again.

And honestly… that can often work for a while, but before you know it, dissatisfaction returns and it's time to look for the next new thing again (and again, and again… and yes, again.)

So should we go through the motions? Going through the motions isn’t all that bad. In fact everyone does it. Who hasn’t spent a season going through the motions at work? Everyone has days, even if they love their job, when they go through the motions. They do what needs to be done, and they do it as well as they can even if their heart is battling against it. What about relationships? That marriage? Even the happiest of married couples have approached moments where they found that their hearts were not fully engaged. Yet to survive, they go through the motions.

Why? Because generally there is a lot invested in these things. There is too much at stake. With the job, it’s an income, a sense of purpose, or a matter of pride. With relationships it can be a matter of family survival, emotional stability, or financial security. Whatever the reason, we do not lightly abandon these (and many other) things. For most people, they cannot be abandoned even if the desire to jump ship exists. There are things that we cannot hastily let go of because we are deeply rooted in them.

Read that last sentence again because it is key to the whole point of this series.

A Conversation (Fake It 'Till You Make It Part 1)

This happened months ago. Church had just wrapped up. I just finished leading the fine of people of Christ’s Fellowship in worship. Then I got a text message from an old friend whom I had recently reconnected with in the last few months.

“What do you do when you become jaded about church? When you just can't bring yourself to go through the motions to satisfy others?”

Gosh. Who, after a few years of following Jesus, hasn’t asked that same question in one way or another? Who hasn’t been frustrated, jaded, confused, hurt, or even lost in the midst of being found.

And the truth, which I told my friend, is that I have been through recent bouts of feeling jaded myself (another story for another day perhaps); but that I continue to go through the motions. However, I don’t go through them for anyone else. I do it for myself. Even when I don’t want to, I try to do the things I know are right. Sometimes I fail, but heck, I failed when I wasn’t jaded as well. That’s when the pivotal question that sparked this blog series came about…

“Do you frustrate yourself with the motions? I feel like a poser when I do that. Relying on muscle memory to ‘do what’s right’ doesn’t feel right.’”

Book Review: Rid of My Disgrace by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb

Just finished reading Rid of My Disgrace by Justin & Lindsey Holcomb. I am going to try and write reviews on books I read and share em. I also want to get back into blogging, but that is another thing altogether...

Anyhow...

Anyone who works with hurting people needs to check this book out. As I get to know the stories of more and more people, I find that more and more people have some aspect of sexual sin or abuse as a part of their story. Almost every victim feels defeated by it. While this book is not a comprehensive manual for treating or counseling victims of sexual assault (nor is it means to be) it is a wonderful groundwork for understanding the struggles that come from such sin. Both people who encounter victims as well as victims their selves can find a lot of good in this book.

It breaks down into three sections...

1) Disgrace: This section consists of two chapters that define sexual assault and the effects it can have on victims. At times this section can be a bit graphic, but then again, so is the topic at hand. I will say that if you are a victim of sexual assault, it might be a good idea to skip this section only because its graphic nature might stir up some emotions you would rather not relive (this recommendation comes from feedback I got from a couple people I shared the book with.) However, this section does a lot to help clarify, particularly for those who might wonder "is what happened to me really sexual assault?"

2) Grace Applied: This is my favorite section of the book. This section discusses some of the most common reactions victims have after being abused. It reassures that there is normalcy in feeling this way after an assault, gives practical help on how to handle it, and gives a biblical perspective on each struggle. Along with that each chapter has a testimony that speaks to the healing people found through Christ as it relates to the struggle at hand. This is the section that has the most practical, helpful information.

3) Grace Accomplished: This is the theological cornerstone. The core idea of this book is that people have been hurting people from the beginning of time with sin, that God has a desire to redeem those who are broken, and that such redemption is made full through the ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Though theology and scripture are used frequently throughout the entire book, in this section it is laid out.

The thing that I love about this book is that very clearly connects the reader to Jesus and to scripture while providing practical insights and help. That is what makes it stand out from every other book or article on the topic I have read. There is redemption and healing in Jesus. Every pastor/minister/Christian counselor should read this book. It lays a good foundation in understanding the problem and finding freedom.

Check it out @ Amazon
Check it out @ Google Books

Are You Happy...

My boy Joe Snow tweeted this and I thought it was worth sharing, haha.

Eminem & Jesus...

I have to confess that Eminem intrigues me. Strictly as a musician/rapper he is about as talented as it gets, but beyond that, his story just keeps my attention. I am a psych/counseling nerd and listening to his songs is like listening to a case study. Through the course of his career he has expressed a history of relationship woes, personal traumas, family drama, abuse, addiction, and so much more (along with his effort to see just how far he can cross the line while expressing it all!) You can certainly tell that there is a high degree of exaggeration and boundary pushing in his music, but when you listen to his music as a whole, you can tell that there is also a high degree of honest confession and reflection with a disregard for the opinions of others. This man knows pain and struggle, and has no problem creatively expressing it.

He sends a very attractive message in his latest offering. Feel free to look up the video for his song “Not Afraid” on youtube. Just be warned, its not edited and full of language some of you may find offensive. Watch at your own discretion.

Whether he genuinely intends to or not, Eminem is gonna reach out and give comfort to a lot of people through this song. Music has this magical way of speaking to a person’s heart. On top of that everyone wants to find someone they can look up to who has been through the storm, come out alive, and is willing to lead them through their own struggles. That’s exactly what Em offers as he declares in the chorus…

I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road

As the song continues, Em raps about some of his recent personal struggles. He acknowledges that he is always under the fire of critics. He confesses that his last album was a failure (it sold plenty of copies, but critics trashed it, and even many of his loyal fans considered it to be awful.) To top it off he even discusses his recent battle with addiction and his efforts to clean himself up. His declaration is that he is overcoming his struggles and that you can too! Just follow him…

Your kids are going to cling to this. Honestly, many “grown ups” who are into the current hip hop/pop music scene will too. MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter updates are going to be littered with quotes from this song (they already are really.) Why? Because Em offers people a sense of comfort (superficial as it may be) and allows them to receive it as they are, without having to feel bad about the struggles in their life.

Reminds me of someone else…

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. -Jesus

Jesus offers us comfort (Psalm 119:49-50), peace (John 14:27), and freedom (John 8:36) as we are. But beyond that, he desires to transform us in a way that overtakes our struggles and pushes us beyond them. Eminem offers superficial companionship and has no solutions. Jesus offers real companionship plus a solution. You can listen to Em’s song, feel a little bit of camaraderie, have your heart touched for a few minutes, but then you have to go back and deal with whatever you are trying to escape. I understand the comfort music can provide at times (no matter what artists or genres you are into) but none of it fulfills like Jesus.

Jesus wants to transform you. Let him. He’s the only one that will truly walk with you through it all.

Counseling Saints, Sufferers & Sinners...

Everyone encounters people who go through hard times, struggles, conflicts, and tragedies. All of us experience them at one time or another as well. It is just part of the human experience, and while some of it can be avoided, all of it never can be. Sometimes we can see it coming a mile away, other times not so much.

A couple weeks ago a woman came into our church building in the middle of the day in hysteria. Tears were pouring down her face, her breathing was out of control, and she could hardly get a sentence out. She was at the end of her rope and anyone that spent more than a minute with her knew it. She came in to see Keith. Keith was out making hospital visits, so I stepped in and tried to help this woman get back on balance. Once I got her calmed down she said that she had just gotten on her bike, had no idea where she wanted to go, and somehow she end up at our church and wanted to talk and get help.

Many of us (myself included often) would be intimidated to have such a situation thrown in our lap. We don’t know how to view someone in the midst of struggle. Sometimes it is innocent; we are just ignorant and don’t know how to be helpful. Other times it is less than innocent; we make judgments of their character and assume we can’t help them because all their problems are results of their sins and bad decisions. Either way, we don’t feel the desire or the competency to help.

In his book Cross Talk: Where Life & Scripture Meet Michael Emlet provides a practical perspective on how to view the hurting people in your life. He says we must view them holistically as Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners in order to get a full picture of what is going on. So when you encounter the hurting, consider the following…

Saint:

*What evidence of God’s grace can you see working in their life?

*In what ways can you see the person living out their identity in Jesus?

*How does the person show the character of Jesus in their words and deeds?

Sufferer:

*What situational stressors is this person facing? (physical ailments, relationship problems, circumstances, social/cultural problems, etc.)

*What are the events in the person’s life that have shaped them the most?

*How has this person been sinned against?

*How do this person’s problems playing out in their life? What are the problems affecting? (home life, school or work performance, etc.)

Sinner:

*What desires, thoughts, emotions, and actions is this person experiencing that are not in line with the gospel?

*What themes and interpretations of life does this person accept that are contrary to the gospel?

If you can look at a person holistically from all these angles, you can begin to make sense of what is going on. Its not always easy, but I think this is an excellent approach as you begin to put the puzzle together.

I finished Cross Talk: Where Life & Scripture Meet this morning. It is a fairly short, easy read that takes a dab of hermeneutics and mixes it with one's counseling approach. The thrust of the book is to show those who work with hurting people how you can practically use the scriptures as a tool to help bring hope and healing. It’s a pretty good book if you are looking for a basic introduction to the topic. Check it out.